yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
