So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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