We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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