Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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