ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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