Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
