it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize