The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just blew my weed a kiss
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
