i jhust puked up my retainher.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize