6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
