Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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