Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
