some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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