p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
