no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
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He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
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And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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