I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
