She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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