This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
