So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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