I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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