"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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