so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
