I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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