I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
