me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
