So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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