So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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