Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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