im drinking this country out of the recession.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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