I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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