Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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