Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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