dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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