The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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