Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
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