Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Walk of Shame today included voting.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
