White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize