bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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