hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize