Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
