Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs sedatives and a leash
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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