Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
