Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Welp...herpes.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
