i permit you to call me
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
