My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I understand Curling. That high.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
