i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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