why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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