It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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