just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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