she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
