New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
