Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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