what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
MIDGETS
????
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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