Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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