I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize