Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
