They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
