I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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