its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
