THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
