what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I don't deserve a penis
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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