did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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